There is not a single person in the world who does not face conflicts in his life. A conflict situation can arise both with oneself and in the family, with friends, or at work. Conflict itself is not terrible, because it is often said that truth is born through dispute. However, in order not to disturb the psychological balance, it is important to be able to properly get out of conflict situations. In this article, we will tell you how to competently get out of a conflict situation and what ways can help avoid the difficult consequences of a conflict. Do not forget that sometimes in order not to develop a conflict, it is enough just to be distracted and switch. The 20Bet platform will help you with this. Here you will find many options for sports betting and get a good charge of positive emotions.
The most important thing to understand about any conflict with others is that the essence and cause of any conflict is a conflict of interests, nothing more.
But the form in which people try to defend their interests has nothing to do with the essence of the conflict, although it is the form that is almost always given the most attention.
The fact that so much attention is paid to the form of the flow of the conflict is not at all surprising, since the form of people very often turns the conflict into a scandal. Moreover, those who turn a conflict into a scandal are always sure that they have serious reasons for this. However, these reasons really always come down to one of two options:
Option “A” goes something like this: “My interests are so grossly violated that I have every right not to be particularly embarrassed in the expressions and tone of statements.”
Option “B” usually looks like this: “It was he who first started (she was the first to start) insulting, so now I also have every right not to choose expressions and intonations too much.”
However, it is worth remembering that a scandal will only work out when both sides are involved in it. If only one side tries to make a fuss, and the second behaves correctly in the conflict, the scandal will not work.
What to do to save your nerves
in order to save your nerves, time and money in any conflict that you want to resolve, you, first of all, should accept the following principle for yourself – “the other side in the conflict can behave as you like, but I personally will still conduct yourself in conflict psychologically competently”, and begin to be guided by it in each case of conflict with others.
So how to behave in a conflict psychologically competently?
And psychologically competent, obviously, behave in a conflict one who adheres to the recommendations developed by psychologists on behavior in a conflict.
Universal recommendations for behavior in any conflict
Rule 1. Give your opponent in conflict every time to fully speak out. Do not interrupt him while doing this. Listen to him calmly and carefully. (As much as you don’t want to put in your two cents). Very often, the discussion of a conflict situation is, in principle, generally possible only after the opponent has let off all the excess steam. “The patient always wins,” says another ancient wisdom.
Rule 2. Show your opponent an interest in what he is saying. No matter how much you like what he says to you, try for yourself to understand his logic and his emotions. Show interest. Few things turn people in your favor more than the subtle flattery of interested attention. And this is the first bridge that allows you to cross the abyss of conflict of interests that stands in your way.
Rule 3. Offer the opponent cooperation in resolving the conflict. Phrases like “let’s find a way to solve the problem together” make a lot more sense than most people think. They allow you to build bridges at an unconscious level, to overcome disunity caused by a conflict of interests.
Rule 4. Always leave an opportunity for the opponent to save face. Even if your opponent is 100% wrong, never point it out directly, use workarounds and hints that gently and gradually lead him to understand that he is wrong. The fact is that the vast majority of people who are directly “on the forehead” sharply pointed out that they are wrong, even if they understand it, they will never admit it later, for the sake of “saving face” (especially men).
Rule 5. Show respect for the opponent. It’s not that hard. It is enough to watch your intonations and not allow any harsh statements, especially those relating to the opponent’s personality. Even if your opponent shows clear disrespect for you, as long as you show respect for him, there are always good chances that you will be able to effectively resolve this conflict in the end. Showing you counter disrespect for the opponent will lead to the fact that there will be no chance of resolving the conflict.
Rule 6. Stay open and honest. Any conflict is aggravated if you use omissions and omissions. Demonstrate that you do not hold a stone in your bosom, and do not hide anything from your opponent as far as the conflict is concerned. Never lie if you really want to resolve a conflict. As a last resort, if you are required to provide confidential information that you are not entitled to disclose, then say about it: “I have no right to talk about this since I am bound here by an obligation of non-disclosure.”
Rule 7. Look for and offer compromises. A mutually beneficial compromise is the best basis for resolving any conflict. The ideal “collaboration” situation that various coaching gurus love so much, citing the conflict over orange as an example, when in the end it turns out that there is nothing to share since one only needs all the pulp for juice, and the other only all the peel for the zest, almost never occurs in real life. Not all, but most conflicts are resolved precisely through a compromise.
Rule 8. Do not look for the guilty. Blaming your opponent is the best way to create a protracted, unresolvable conflict. The question “who is to blame?” in a conflict should not sound in any case. Moreover, accusations against the opponent should not be heard if you want to find a solution to the conflict (even if the opponent, in your opinion, is 100% guilty of everything himself). Do not throw any accusations against your opponent if you want to resolve the conflict.
